Do you sometimes question why you do the things you do?
Do you ever find yourself being hard on yourself?
I’m sharing with you something I’ve learned that has helped me understand myself better and those around me, and I hope you can benefit from this as well.
I follow many Entrepreneur’s podcasts most of which have talked about their Enneagram personality type. I hadn’t heard of this before and was intrigued, so, I went online, took the personality test and discovered I’m a three (the achiever).
I’m bringing this up because I recently had a conversation with a friend who was feeling overwhelmed and was beating herself up about not doing things to her standards.
As I continued to listen to her, I thought to myself, she must be an Enneagram type three. As a three myself, I related to everything she was saying and could feel how unforgiving she was being with herself.
Instead of saying “I get you, don’t worry, everything will be ok”, I asked her if she had ever heard of the Enneagram personality test, which she had not.
I explained to her what the Enneagram was, and how it has benefited me in many aspects of my life. It gave me a clear understanding of my interpersonal strengths and weaknesses, key motivators, stress points as well as blind spots.
The Enneagram helps us see;
Where we get stuck.
Why we get stuck?
How we can get over the hurdles in our lives.
The Enneagram helped me not only understand myself better but to understand others and appreciate where they are coming from.
We paused our conversation, and my friend did the test and scored a high three. It was no wonder she was being so tough on herself. She was not meeting her standards and continued to put unnecessary pressure on herself with an overwhelming feeling of guilt.
Three’s are self-assured, ambitious, competent and can be highly driven for advancement. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness which would explain why she was being so hard on herself when she felt like she was not doing enough.
When she read the personality traits and details of the three, she saw herself right away. She now understood why she was being so difficult with herself which made the circumstances feel a little lighter.
I feel like the Enneagram not only provides awareness but offers a sense of comfort in knowing that we are perfectly normal and that when times feel tough, there’s always a way out.
The Enneagram is a system of personality that describes people in terms of nine personality types, each with its core motivations, fears and internal dynamics.
Here are the nine personality types. Maybe you can guess your personality type but I highly recommend taking this free test on truity. After completing the test, a pie chart will appear indicating your highest scoring number with a summary. You can also find more on your personality type at the enneagram institute for free (no affiliate marketing).
1 THE REFORMER: The Rational, Idealistic Type: Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, and Perfectionistic
2 THE HELPER: The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, and Possessive
3 THE ACHIEVER: The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious
4 THE INDIVIDUALIST: The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental
5 THE INVESTIGATOR: The Intense, Cerebral Type: Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated
6 THE LOYALIST: The committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible Anxious, and Suspicious
7 THE ENTHUSIAST: The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered
8 THE CHALLENGER: The Powerful, Dominating Type: Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational
9 THE PEACEMAKER: The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, and Complacent
There are many aspects of your life where knowing your Enneagram type can help you.
Personal development-wise; get to know who you are when you are at your best but also when your stress point is at a high, and what you need to do to unwind.
Career-wise; find a career that aligns with your strengths. For example, if you are a two (the helper), a profession as a nurse could be a very good fit.
Relationship-wise; understanding the personality types of the people closest to you helps you understand them better and where they’re coming from. I had my family take the test as well and each of their personality tests was bang on. This has helped me tremendously because threes can be very exhausting to others with their drive so now I try to pause and consider their feelings and motivations.
By doing this test, you will get to know who you are at your best. You have strengths in your number that can help you thrive. You will also discover who you are in periods of stress and what you can do in those situations.
I believe when we understand more about why we are the way we are, it feels lighter when we go through hard times or periods of overwhelm. The better we understand ourselves, the better we can navigate through anything. And most importantly, give ourselves a break. We are human after all.
If you do the test and want more, I recommend the following resources (no affiliate marketing):
Podcast: Lead with the Enneagram – Tracy O’Malley
Book: Naked with the Enneagram – Adriana Tenora
If you found value in this exercise as I did, please share this with someone you know who could also benefit from it.
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photo by rfstudio
